Monthly Archive for May, 2004

Sing for the Moment.

Published
by
eehgow
on May 31, 2004
in dark times and musings
. 0 Comments

This song has been repeatedly playing on my head’s built-in Winamp. A random song, I guess… since I can’t see how I can relate what’s happening to my damned life to any part of the song. Hah.


BALISONG

_rivermaya

Your face

Lights up the sky on the highway

Someday

You’ll share your world with me someday

You mesmerize me

With diamond eyes

I try to fool myself to think I’ll be alright

But I am losin’ all control

My mind, my heart, my body and my soul

Never in my life have I been more sure

So come up to me and close the door

Nobody’s made me feel this way before

You’re everything I wanted and more

To speak or not to

Where to begin

The great dilemmas I’m finding myself in

For all I know you only see me as a friend

I try to tell myself, wake up fool

This fairy tale’s got to end

You’re everything I wanted…

… and more.

I can listen to this song all day long… so why don’t you come by and bring a beer bong? I’m starting to feel like the Cat in the Hat… so I’ll go on ahead and…. uhm.. scrat?… spat? squat? splat? strat? bat? pat?…. umm… err.

Wishful Thinking.

Published
by
eehgow
on May 29, 2004
in dark times and rants
. 0 Comments

Yep. That’s all I can do now… I can’t do anything other than to be happy for it… even if it means smiling sarcastically at it. I just have to settle for what I am now and look forward to something… and I see a whole life of bleakness ahead of me. I didn’t choose it, somebody did the choosing for me… oh, who am I fooling??!! I can’t go on with life blaming someone (or something) for what has happened to me! Damn. What’s wrong with me? Help. Even my browser is turning against me, it isn’t word wrap-ing.

I’ve got two options:

OPTION # 1: End all the pain. Get myself some rat poison. Cook it with my favorite food, Sinigang… and die with at least a happy tummy… or…

OPTION # 2: Move on. See other people. Look around. Enjoy life. Be contented, emotionally and psychologically. Die rich.

Hmm… I like the sound of OPTION # 1. But then again, what good would it do? Friendster says I only have 287 friends… 287 potential wakegoers. Hmmm… not good. And considering the time of year, this isn’t a good time to die. People are getting busy with their schedules: school, work, etc… that’s a couple of Friendsters less. Sinigang isn’t going to make me full… not just by itself… and I think rat poison will just give me headaches and a really terrible hangover.

OPTION # 2 — Aside from all the optimism packed into it, it would obviously be everyone’s choice if they were to be me. I want only part of it. The other part painted all over this blog.

So what now? Bump my head into something, sleep and wake up tomorrow hoping I get permanent amnesia? Cry to that sappy “getting over” CD till my eyes pop out and I get dehydrated? Curse everyone to their graves? Name call? Get a fix?

No. I’ll move on. I’m struggling to. Like a baby on his first steps… like a caterpillar slowly inching its way out of a cocoon… like the rays of the sun seeping thru the dark rain clouds… like a man who has loved (deeply) and lost (painfully). Sad but true.

Seeing our pictures gets the crybaby out of me… but that’s all I can do now. Being somewhere we’ve been to before makes me feel alienated… but that’s all I can do now. Remembering a joke or a short phrase from her makes me smile and at the same time think wishfully… but that’s all I can do now. Knowing that there would be little possibility of getting back with her gives me the shivers… but that’s all I can do now.

Yes, that’s all I can do now. I can almost hear Josh Groban singing that song to me now…

Those little creatures called K-I-D-S

Published
by
eehgow
on May 28, 2004
in dark times and rants
. 0 Comments

I feel jittery everytime I blog. For some reason, I sometimes find it hard to think aloud. Hah.

—

I hate kids. At least these kids running around my house — my cousins. Their parents both have day jobs so guess who’s up to take the suffering. They’re so naughty and it takes forever for them to tell you what they want for lunch, and longer to eat it. Take Kenneth, for example, who answers back to people older (and bigger) than him. Makes me wanna bonk him. And the youngest, Nikki, the one who doesn’t want to be in a photo, who whines and then cries at the simplest thing, say, me taking a stolen shot of her. It never stops, even if she has no more tears to shed, she still makes that sound that just pisses me off. Hell, there maybe even better kids in the area I go to.

I miss ESCOPA… I miss everyone.

—

I can’t wait to get out of the house. I feel sick being trapped inside it.

Showers.

Published
by
eehgow
on May 23, 2004
in musings and updates
. 0 Comments

Yesterday, Dave and Alma had a party for their coming baby, Adrielle. (sp?) The picture above shows us in a not-so-drunk-but-kinda-crazy mode. Haha. Twas fun hanging out with them again… we were all talking about stuff during high school, details not worth-telling.

The weather was bad last night… at least for me. I never really liked rainy days… it gives me this weird feeling. The number of guests were less than what was expected… I heard one of Alma’s friends (a commercial model, to be precise) is currently going out with that SCQT guy Joross… too bad they didn’t come… napagtripan sana namin sya.. hehe. Oh, c’mon! Spare me all the swooning, please.


(L-R): Dave, Rey, Anton, Mon, Eins, Me, Egan

Chill.

Published
by
eehgow
on May 17, 2004
in dark times, summary and updates
. 0 Comments

12PM. I found myself waiting for my cousin to pick me up at Toyota Alabang. He had a scheduled job interview somewhere in Mandaluyong (supposedly)… We got there, only to find out that it has been moved to 6750 in Makati.

3PM. We went to his girl’s place and I was finally introduced properly to that girl I usually see during family gatherings. Man, was she tall. Supermodel Tall. In fact, she is. I heard she was going to Italy sometime soon. My cousin really has taste when it comes to his girls… haha. I just hope nobody related to both parties reads this entry, or my dreams of dating ramp models would just be dreams, forever. Haha. We went to McDo to grab something to eat, recalling I only had 5 pieces of pandesal for breakfast.

5PM. Got back to her place and off to drop her roommate, Em — yet another supermodel material, at Glorietta. Soon, we were on our way to pick up Melissa and Michelle.

6PM. Got to the place they’re staying in somewhere in Villamor Air Base. (Hi Gelo.) Gawd, the streets there were just numbers, and the one who did them probably didn’t know ordinal math. If I was a postman assigned to go through that place, I’d quit. Aside from all the M16-toting military people walking around which usually scares me… I’d get lost inside like Maria Makiling was present.

7PM. We rushed to Glorietta with Michelle, Melissa and Jhing — the daughter of the owner of the place in Villamor. We were literally rushing to the shops since it was nearing closing time… and they only had an hour left… and for girls, that wouldn’t be half of a whole shopping trip. I don’t mean to be sexist, but really, you females take CENTURIES just to decide on which top would match which skirt, etc. etc. Come to think of it, girls take long in doing everything: bathing, dressing up, going to the CR, eating, drinking (alcoholic drinks), deciding… the list could go on.

8PM. Melissa saw the same blouse she bought from Cinderella inside one of those tiangge types somewhere near the former Music One. Shocked, I asked for the price… it was just a couple of pesos less… and that made her feel better. Hehe. They were craving for Chickenjoy so we all had dinner in Jollibee.

10PM. Since we’re already along Makati Avenue, my cousin told us about this place he usually goes to, hmm, Tiananmen… Anyway, we went there… leaving the car parked outside Jollibee, we walked to the place… but not before going to that boutique we found which probably had prices above the usual mall-based ones.

The place was nice. Definitely deserves a second visit. It was dimly lit, and had more Western ambience than what the name suggests. I could tell somebody was down with someone… Go figure. We downed a few bottles and we’re off to another bar.

05.15.04, 1AM. Greenbelt. Ice — that bar with blue all over… was the typical club scene in Manila. Jam-packed, people hanging out outside, drugged psychos dancing like there’s no tomorrow, and for some weird reasons, a matrona-ish woman dancing just like that senator who “danced the night away” after winning over the opposition over some issues about opening a certain envelope. I could tell Michelle was kinda tipsy already… she was always smiling everytime I happen to look at her. Hehe. I was told she had low tolerance for alcohol… so that probably explains why she was already red after two Martinis. Melissa wanted to see how clubs go here and I think she got the perfect example… like a pack of jellybeans.

3AM. We drove them back to their place… took some pictures… said our goodbyes and went home. I found out about my cousin’s their DSL internet connection, so I gave MUOnline a few clicks, hacks and slashes after finally deciding to sleep. We’re supposed to see them off the next morning at the airport.

8AM. I was still sleepy when I got on the car. I took a short nap while my cousin was talking about his favorite track on his favorite Chillout CD. I was too sleepy to remember… and besides, Lounge music relaxes me… and puts me to sleep, eventually. Soon enough, we were going around circles at NAIA for n times, the security guard was starting to grow suspicious.

We picked them up at that place in Villamor (again), and took them to the airport…

I hate saying goodbyes… it usually marks the end of something.

I’m sleepy!